Another Day

Yes, another day.... its amazing how time flies....Madilyn is almost 2 months old!! As she sleeps in her swing, I'm stealing away for a few minutes...to eat leftover falafel and jot down a few thoughts.
I can't believe how tired I was today...I felt like I could sleep and sleep..and the strange thing is that last night Madi slept for about 6 hours straight (although she didn't go to sleep until 2am...)
I awoke to a beautiful day, at the same time a somber telecast of the September 11 dedication of the memorial at the Pentagon...I watched the news for a while, while I ate my bowl of cereal and remembered again where I was 7 years ago on that terrible day. I was getting ready for school (community college) and I happened to turn on the news right after the first plane hit the World Trade Center. As I watched in horror, right before my eyes the second plane came and hit the other tower. It was so surreal. I couldn't leave the television, and I thought about how it might affect my day at school. Would they close down? What was happening? I didn't know if there was going to be a bomb dropped or what. As I drove to school I heard in the car of the news that the third plane had hit the Pentagon. Everything was falling apart! I didn't want to go to class!! I went though, and we continued as normally as we could, but I knew that things were changing by the second. As I sat through my "Intro to Theatre" class, I knew people were crying, panicking, and much worse...It was a strange , strange day. Horrible. A day that would change our country forever. And yet still in the midst of it all, my grandmother was celebrating her birthday.... And she is as well today - 80 years. Happy B-day grandma. I'm sure she's seen a lot happen in this country in the past 80 years, so much has changed. What an amazing gift to be able to witness the technological, sociological, physical changes our country has gone through over all these years. Amazing.

No Rush to Grow Up

It seems to be easy when you have a kid to rush them in your thoughts to the next stage of development...."If only they could just tell me what they wanted", "If only they could walk", " If only they could hold their own head up." But why do we go there? Doesn't time fly fast enough? Sure, when you're caught up in the moment with a bazillion things to do - cooking dinner, keeping an eye on the baby, answering the phone, picking up the crying baby, rushing for the burning muffins, setting the baby down when she's tired (only to have her bounce wide awake as soon as you take a step away...!). In these crazy moments we go there with our thoughts...."If only" statments take over in our heads, and we for a minute imagine what life may be like "if only" our child could do just one more thing for themselves. It would be just that much easier on us, right?
I challenge myself to stop in those moments, to take back the statement "If only she could...." to "If only I could." If only I could cherish this second of life where my daughter is so sweet, so impressionable, so teachable, so cuddly, so dependant on me....and etch it into my soul, to be taken out in the future days when she doesn't want to listen to what I have to say, doesn't want to be cuddled anymore, wants to see what the world has to say, wants to be independant. I hope I can learn to appreciate these stages in all their difficulty. No matter how much they drain me, let me vow to not rush my daughter into growing up in my mind. She's already growing up too fast in real life! Unlike a lot of babies who lose several ounces of body weight in the first week, my daughter has been steadily gaining gaining gaining since day one! :)
My sister in law doesn't rush her kids to the next age until the day of their birthday... My neice won't turn 1 until 365 days after she was born. And why not?? I see her point now...